"Stage of Life"

Soooo... what'cha been up to the last 10, 11, 12 days?

Me?

Well... umm... clearly NOT blerbing.  Sigh.

Told y'all.  I am not cut out for daily writing.  I am a relatively busy person and frankly, I don't find carving out time to compose my thoughts (Ha, right!) and write them down as anything I really want to do long term.  Sing?  Yes.  Write?  No way!

Anyhoo...

Since Valentine's Day (the last time I blerbed), it has been a whirlwind of activity in the ol' Schmidt House. We've had singing engagements, play rehearsals, family responsibilities, school obligations, and hey... my birthday fell within that, too!  February 19th.  THAT day!  The day when just minutes before midnight, I made my grand entrance onto the "stage of life".  I remember it well. (No, no I don't.)  I hear tell, however, that I looked just like my grandfather which made my mother slightly nervous about my future looks but never changed her deep affection for me.

I am so thankful that I grew up (continue to grow up) in a happy, loving home with both of my parents.  I am thankful that when the going got tough (and boy, did it!), they never got going. Through their almost 43 years of marriage, they have been a consistent example of love, acceptance, tolerance, devotion, and patience.  I know that having that stability, whether I realized it or not in my childhood, has been a great sense of comfort to me and it is something I want my own children to see and feel, as well.

I have allowed myself to be too busy to fully take in all the usual "introspectives" I like to around my birthday.  I mean, really, I haven't even done this blerbing thing well and that was something I'd hoped to do... in any case, no matter how swamped I am or how over-scheduled I feel we are, there is one thing I cannot debate: I come from a terrific family. That has shaped so much of who I am today and what I hold valuable.  I have a terrific family.  I am blessed with a husband I wake up loving every.single.day. and with children that keep me real by just being themselves.  I have terrific friends.  They are honoring, considerate, and appreciate me more than I sometimes even realize. And I have a terrific heavenly father.  He created me.  He knows me and He has a great plan for me. Most definitely... my life... is TERRIFIC!

*ter·rif·ic [tuh-rif-ik]
adjective
1. extraordinarily great
2. extremely good; wonderful

In Deep Smitt

February 14th: 








In honor of this day of L-O-V-E, I have composed a list (in true stream of consciousness) of some of the things I feel smitten with. 

(In no particular order)
>God (He loved me first.)
>my family (This means all of them.)
>music (I like songs more than genres.  They don't always matter.)
>singing and acting (I feel my most "in tune" with myself when I do them.)
>crafting & painting (Sometimes I just get a hankerin' to be creative with my hands.)
>baked macaroni & cheese ("Cheese Pie" as my Grandma Ruby used to call it.)
>primary colors (This is evident in the color scheme of my house, lots of reds, blues, greens, and yellows)
>owls (I liked them before they got "popular".)
>classic TV shows (Nothing beats the humor and life lessons of Andy Griffith, I Love Lucy, Hazel, and Father Knows Best)
>a stocked pantry (I recognize that this is not always a "given" for some folks and I know we are blessed, especially when I can share with people.)
>sweet coffee and sweet red wine ('Cause they match me... sweet! *cue eyeroll)
>waterproof eyeliner and mascara (Who wants to look like a zombie all day?)
>my 100+ years old house (Even with its slanty floors, drafty windows, and chipped paint inside... it's home and it is an answered prayer.)
>vintage decorating (I was once called vintage eclectic in my style.  I'll take that.)
history (Good thing I married a history teacher, eh?  Tell me a story, Honey!)
>The Grill, Athens, GA (My usual since high school days... Vegetarian with fries and feta dip.)
>relaxed evenings when everyone is home and we laugh together (The best!)
>travel (I have had awesome opportunities to visit Mexico, Ukraine, the Philippines, the Netherlands, and some amazing places in between.  I've been to many states and towns within the US and each time I've met the most beautiful (inside and out) people.)
>when Erica finds something so funny that she literally giggles uncontrollably (It remind me of her little girl years.)
>when my day goes just as I've planned and mapped out (Sometimes it really does just all align.)
>hanging out with my mother, sister, and now, my grandmother (These are the women I come from... class acts!)
>clearance racks and couponing (Yep, I am that lady!)
>shoes (Yes, absolutely, YES!)

Okay... gulp, clearly I could go on and on... but I'll stop.  What a bunch of blessings!  I love that!  I love that I literally have an unending list of "loves".  Good stuff!

I hope you do, too! 

Go get your "smitt" on!

Embrace the Face

February 13th:

So... if you are one of the rare people that have stuck around to see what shows up on this blerb daily (or not so daily)... Let me say I'm sorry for not being very timely and for generally being "Grumpsville" the last couple of entries. I'm ready to move on.  Enough of that!  Time to do what I set out to do with these writings and embrace all the things I appreciate about me. (Sounds like a Sesame Street segment).  Anyhoo...

Today, I will be focusing on my head/face.  Yep.  That gargantuan noggin atop the mountain of me.  I have a huge head.  I know this.  I certainly can't run from it so I deal.  I don't wear a lot of hats and I try not to cut my hair too terribly short as to bring more accent to it, but it is what it is and since it can't be changed and it does hold my very large brain (heh, heh), I find that I can be content with it.

My face is... something I'm... learning to love.  I look like my mother, whom I think is quite lovely and so find it interesting that I usually have trouble accepting my own looks.  I have ruddy skin, light eyebrows, stubby lashes, a crooked nose, a gummy smile, huge teeth, and I'm fighting (big tooth and painted nail) to keep the wrinkles, bags, and dark circles from taking me over.  Easier said than done.  I've always been the kind of gal that couldn't (and wouldn't) be seen out in public without "the old barn painted".  My family jokes that I wouldn't even take the trash out, four feet from the house, without first putting on all of my makeup. They just didn't realize that I just considered it my duty to spare all creatures from seeing the hideousness of my naked face.  (I mean, why add to the stress of a squirrel's life, right?  They deal with enough.)  However, as I've grown and matured, I've... (wait, who am I kidding, it has nothing to do with maturing)... (Ahem) However, as I've had children and my time is not always my own, I've learned to adjust my way of thinking about my face and what can be considered "good etiquette" when showing that face to the world. I still want to look my best and I really think I'll always be a cosmetics gal.  I like color and I like makeup and I know I look better with it on. Certainly, there are days when a little goes a long way or even less than little goes a long way. I accept my face and all its flaws and I can even take a run or walk or go to my town's "fancy shopping mall" Dollar General without "dolling up". I don't freak out if I am seen without it (I used to, but hey... it's on here, right?) but, I really like "putting my face on" and don't feel like I'm hiding the real me by doing that.  I really don't.

So... sure, beauty does fade and you've gotta be more than just outward appearances, and pretty faces can be marred by ugly personalities, I know... but it's also in the eye of the beholder and since I am one of those that behold it... I'm gonna make sure it looks good.  Embrace the face!

How's this for honest "blerbing".  (If you are in a public place seeing this, try not to scream too loudly.)

Streaming & Dreaming

February 12th:

Here it is, Folks... hold on to your seats...
STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS during a down time in my rehearsal:
I'm tired.  I want to go home now.  I need to do my nails.  These children need to hush backstage. I love Altoids.  I'm so over these people!  I am not getting paid enough.  My shoes are too big.  I need a new bra.  I'm thirsty.  I want to sit snuggly on my couch in my pajamas and watch Laverne & Shirley episodes with Eric.  Why is Charlie still running his mouth?  Sheesh!  Diet Mountain Dew.  Diet Coke. Coffee.  Crap!  I'm all hopped up on caffeine... I'll never sleep tonight.   This blog is ridiculous. I'm definitely the poster child for those who should never blog!  Tomorrow is another day. Oooh, I sound like Scarlett O'Hara.  I love Gone With the Wind. I need to watch Carol Burnett.  "Went With the Wind". I should stop this.  Really. Oh, I'm on...
*Tomorrow really IS another day and I'll do better at making this blog something worth reading.

Cramming 4 Days Into One Honest Blerb

*I've said it many times and yet, evidently I don't listen... I am NOT a blogger!  I cannot be counted on to get them out in a timely manner.  It takes so much thought for me, which seems silly to say in light of my current postings.  My "tongue in cheek" blog page name is not necessarily true.  I mean, I guess you could say that what's posted  here are just "splashes" of my thoughts but I give too much planning (errr...) to these writings for them to be true "stream of consciousness".  Alas, I shall complete the month (if for only the three people that actually read them.)

In any case...  (Inhale.)

February 8th, 9th, 10th & 11th:

Over the past four days I've had a real "come to Jesus" meeting with myself.  Despite that lovely "I'm Wonder Woman, hear me roar" blog from several days ago (insert rolling eyes here), I truly must be honest and admit that I have once again (and I mean AGAIN *cue echo) let myself lose sight of my main goal which is to ENJOY my family and my activities and not spread myself so thin that I feel like burn out is pending.  I mean, I can multi-task and do it all the time (most mothers do anyway), but really... I need my head examined for all that I have put on my plate lately.  Now, some of it really is beyond my control in that I didn't know what kind of time pressure and whackadoo schedule I was gonna be under when I first took it on, but in retrospect, I could have (should have) thought it out better and not pushed myself into so much.  Since before Christmas, we have been running on super speed from one activity, show, event, etc.  Throw in our regular life with the 6 of us plus Lewie's surgery in January and and it's a circus side show for sure.  Although I feel like I'm doing an alright job keeping us all in check and making sure that we are connecting as a family everyday, I am not taking care of myself and I realize that a very bad attitude (cue scary music) is so close to the surface for me and it's because I am tired and stretched out more than that Armstrong dude from the 70's.  Grrr!

So...

What can I do about it?  Well, there is not too much I can do at this point to change our over-scheduled calendar.  I mean, I have commitments, contracts... and I will fulfill them.  However, I have thought a lot about trying to keep myself in check on thinking I (or even "we") need to be a part of everything that is available to us.  Of course we have interests, talents, skills, etc. that we want to use and nurture but, especially for me as the "lady of the manor", I've gotta find a good balance so that the things I need to take care of don't fall behind because the things I want to do keep me from them.  Sometimes saying 'no' is the biggest 'yes' I can give myself and my family.  I know, too, that often my decisions are based on my own validity issues (Oh geez, that's a whole 'nother blog in itself).   I've gotta face that. (Aww, pa-tooey!) Anyway, there are certainly changes that need to happen on this front, as much as I hate to admit it.  However... (bucking up)... it's good.  It's needed.  It's what will ultimately save me from an inevitable stumble.


There.... honest. blerbing. (Exhale.)

A Checklist For My Teenage Self

February 7th:

Dear Cher,
    Keep these things in mind.  They may do you good.

1.  You. Aren't. Enough... but Christ in you is.
2.  You are NOT "done" nor is this "the worst day ever".  Just don't even say it.
3.  All those people you think are soooo talented and gifted... they once took a chance.  You can, too.
4.  Be kind to the outcasts because one day, when you are adults, you'll run into them and they'll remember you as the only person in school that was ever nice to them and it will mean the world to you both.
5.  Eat and don't feel guilty about it.  Sheesh!
6.  Tell your family how much they mean to you and don't expect them to "just know it".
7.  Embrace your uniqueness and allow yourself to think and be different.  Practice your awesomeness.
8.  You aren't supposed to reach your pinnacle of success in high school so just breathe and carry on.  Stop worrying about perfection and just do your best.
9.  Enjoy being single.  It doesn't mean you are lacking something.  It just indicates you are meant for better than what's available at the moment.
10.  Don't wait until you are an adult to learn to be a good steward of your time, talents, money, etc.
11.  Stop hating your hair, your skin, your body, your life.  You were wonderfully made and loved deeply. You are beautiful!
12.  Knock the chip off your shoulder and relax.  Who wants to carry that weight? Count your blessings.
13.  Enjoy every experience.  Look for the good, the fun, the opportunities.  Each day you wake up means there must be something good you are supposed to do.  Look for it.
14.  Be consistently YOU with everyone and in every situation.
15.  Dream it, make plans, but be flexible if it doesn't happen.
16.  Work hard.  Don't give half of nothing.  Give all of everything.
17.  Appreciate more. Complain less.
18.  Don't wait to let God be in charge of it all.
19.  Don't let negativity breathe your air.  It'll suck your joy.
20.  Listen to the ones who've "been there, done that" and learn from them.

Lightning Comes Before Thunder

February 6th:
I started out the day tired, grumpy, and impatient.  I've gotten so  accustomed to Ross being here to make the coffee and help with breakfast for the Ginger Bros. (I know. Can you say spoiled?).  He's away for a couple of days and so TAG, I'm it.  I was in no mood for people this morning, especially little, demanding people.  I just wanted to stay in bed.  Alas...

Since my mood was blah and I actually had no where to be all day for the first time in weeks, I had every intention of climbing back into bed.  However, as I headed that way, I saw Lightning McQueen out of the corner of my eye.  Ka-chow! 

That's when my direction veered from my bedroom to the boys'.  There I found myself adding Lightening to the other toys as I put them away and straightened and organized their wardrobe and closet, (making mental notes of what clothes need to be ceremoniusly burned for having too many holes in or stains on them from the fun they've seen). Then, although I try to be a one laundry day a week gal, I threw in a load.  (Livin' cray-zay!).  I vacuumed the house which hadn't been done in two weeks  (That's a big deal 'cause I'm a twice a week sucker-upper.) and then in ten minutes I gave a redo to an old table in the boys' room and rehomed it in the living room.

I felt so productive and satisfied.  As I opened the front door to allow the warm sun to shine in through the storm door, I thought about how glad I was that I didn't take that nap and how good I felt and how  much I'd gotten done simply because I moved forward. 
I think, sometimes, that's all it takes... when you feel your worst, defeated, grumpy, like you're stuck, just take a step.  Move.  Pretty soon you realize that you've moved so much and so far that that bad mood, that problem is way behind you.
Yeah.