"Stage of Life"

Soooo... what'cha been up to the last 10, 11, 12 days?

Me?

Well... umm... clearly NOT blerbing.  Sigh.

Told y'all.  I am not cut out for daily writing.  I am a relatively busy person and frankly, I don't find carving out time to compose my thoughts (Ha, right!) and write them down as anything I really want to do long term.  Sing?  Yes.  Write?  No way!

Anyhoo...

Since Valentine's Day (the last time I blerbed), it has been a whirlwind of activity in the ol' Schmidt House. We've had singing engagements, play rehearsals, family responsibilities, school obligations, and hey... my birthday fell within that, too!  February 19th.  THAT day!  The day when just minutes before midnight, I made my grand entrance onto the "stage of life".  I remember it well. (No, no I don't.)  I hear tell, however, that I looked just like my grandfather which made my mother slightly nervous about my future looks but never changed her deep affection for me.

I am so thankful that I grew up (continue to grow up) in a happy, loving home with both of my parents.  I am thankful that when the going got tough (and boy, did it!), they never got going. Through their almost 43 years of marriage, they have been a consistent example of love, acceptance, tolerance, devotion, and patience.  I know that having that stability, whether I realized it or not in my childhood, has been a great sense of comfort to me and it is something I want my own children to see and feel, as well.

I have allowed myself to be too busy to fully take in all the usual "introspectives" I like to around my birthday.  I mean, really, I haven't even done this blerbing thing well and that was something I'd hoped to do... in any case, no matter how swamped I am or how over-scheduled I feel we are, there is one thing I cannot debate: I come from a terrific family. That has shaped so much of who I am today and what I hold valuable.  I have a terrific family.  I am blessed with a husband I wake up loving every.single.day. and with children that keep me real by just being themselves.  I have terrific friends.  They are honoring, considerate, and appreciate me more than I sometimes even realize. And I have a terrific heavenly father.  He created me.  He knows me and He has a great plan for me. Most definitely... my life... is TERRIFIC!

*ter·rif·ic [tuh-rif-ik]
adjective
1. extraordinarily great
2. extremely good; wonderful

In Deep Smitt

February 14th: 








In honor of this day of L-O-V-E, I have composed a list (in true stream of consciousness) of some of the things I feel smitten with. 

(In no particular order)
>God (He loved me first.)
>my family (This means all of them.)
>music (I like songs more than genres.  They don't always matter.)
>singing and acting (I feel my most "in tune" with myself when I do them.)
>crafting & painting (Sometimes I just get a hankerin' to be creative with my hands.)
>baked macaroni & cheese ("Cheese Pie" as my Grandma Ruby used to call it.)
>primary colors (This is evident in the color scheme of my house, lots of reds, blues, greens, and yellows)
>owls (I liked them before they got "popular".)
>classic TV shows (Nothing beats the humor and life lessons of Andy Griffith, I Love Lucy, Hazel, and Father Knows Best)
>a stocked pantry (I recognize that this is not always a "given" for some folks and I know we are blessed, especially when I can share with people.)
>sweet coffee and sweet red wine ('Cause they match me... sweet! *cue eyeroll)
>waterproof eyeliner and mascara (Who wants to look like a zombie all day?)
>my 100+ years old house (Even with its slanty floors, drafty windows, and chipped paint inside... it's home and it is an answered prayer.)
>vintage decorating (I was once called vintage eclectic in my style.  I'll take that.)
history (Good thing I married a history teacher, eh?  Tell me a story, Honey!)
>The Grill, Athens, GA (My usual since high school days... Vegetarian with fries and feta dip.)
>relaxed evenings when everyone is home and we laugh together (The best!)
>travel (I have had awesome opportunities to visit Mexico, Ukraine, the Philippines, the Netherlands, and some amazing places in between.  I've been to many states and towns within the US and each time I've met the most beautiful (inside and out) people.)
>when Erica finds something so funny that she literally giggles uncontrollably (It remind me of her little girl years.)
>when my day goes just as I've planned and mapped out (Sometimes it really does just all align.)
>hanging out with my mother, sister, and now, my grandmother (These are the women I come from... class acts!)
>clearance racks and couponing (Yep, I am that lady!)
>shoes (Yes, absolutely, YES!)

Okay... gulp, clearly I could go on and on... but I'll stop.  What a bunch of blessings!  I love that!  I love that I literally have an unending list of "loves".  Good stuff!

I hope you do, too! 

Go get your "smitt" on!

Embrace the Face

February 13th:

So... if you are one of the rare people that have stuck around to see what shows up on this blerb daily (or not so daily)... Let me say I'm sorry for not being very timely and for generally being "Grumpsville" the last couple of entries. I'm ready to move on.  Enough of that!  Time to do what I set out to do with these writings and embrace all the things I appreciate about me. (Sounds like a Sesame Street segment).  Anyhoo...

Today, I will be focusing on my head/face.  Yep.  That gargantuan noggin atop the mountain of me.  I have a huge head.  I know this.  I certainly can't run from it so I deal.  I don't wear a lot of hats and I try not to cut my hair too terribly short as to bring more accent to it, but it is what it is and since it can't be changed and it does hold my very large brain (heh, heh), I find that I can be content with it.

My face is... something I'm... learning to love.  I look like my mother, whom I think is quite lovely and so find it interesting that I usually have trouble accepting my own looks.  I have ruddy skin, light eyebrows, stubby lashes, a crooked nose, a gummy smile, huge teeth, and I'm fighting (big tooth and painted nail) to keep the wrinkles, bags, and dark circles from taking me over.  Easier said than done.  I've always been the kind of gal that couldn't (and wouldn't) be seen out in public without "the old barn painted".  My family jokes that I wouldn't even take the trash out, four feet from the house, without first putting on all of my makeup. They just didn't realize that I just considered it my duty to spare all creatures from seeing the hideousness of my naked face.  (I mean, why add to the stress of a squirrel's life, right?  They deal with enough.)  However, as I've grown and matured, I've... (wait, who am I kidding, it has nothing to do with maturing)... (Ahem) However, as I've had children and my time is not always my own, I've learned to adjust my way of thinking about my face and what can be considered "good etiquette" when showing that face to the world. I still want to look my best and I really think I'll always be a cosmetics gal.  I like color and I like makeup and I know I look better with it on. Certainly, there are days when a little goes a long way or even less than little goes a long way. I accept my face and all its flaws and I can even take a run or walk or go to my town's "fancy shopping mall" Dollar General without "dolling up". I don't freak out if I am seen without it (I used to, but hey... it's on here, right?) but, I really like "putting my face on" and don't feel like I'm hiding the real me by doing that.  I really don't.

So... sure, beauty does fade and you've gotta be more than just outward appearances, and pretty faces can be marred by ugly personalities, I know... but it's also in the eye of the beholder and since I am one of those that behold it... I'm gonna make sure it looks good.  Embrace the face!

How's this for honest "blerbing".  (If you are in a public place seeing this, try not to scream too loudly.)

Streaming & Dreaming

February 12th:

Here it is, Folks... hold on to your seats...
STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS during a down time in my rehearsal:
I'm tired.  I want to go home now.  I need to do my nails.  These children need to hush backstage. I love Altoids.  I'm so over these people!  I am not getting paid enough.  My shoes are too big.  I need a new bra.  I'm thirsty.  I want to sit snuggly on my couch in my pajamas and watch Laverne & Shirley episodes with Eric.  Why is Charlie still running his mouth?  Sheesh!  Diet Mountain Dew.  Diet Coke. Coffee.  Crap!  I'm all hopped up on caffeine... I'll never sleep tonight.   This blog is ridiculous. I'm definitely the poster child for those who should never blog!  Tomorrow is another day. Oooh, I sound like Scarlett O'Hara.  I love Gone With the Wind. I need to watch Carol Burnett.  "Went With the Wind". I should stop this.  Really. Oh, I'm on...
*Tomorrow really IS another day and I'll do better at making this blog something worth reading.

Cramming 4 Days Into One Honest Blerb

*I've said it many times and yet, evidently I don't listen... I am NOT a blogger!  I cannot be counted on to get them out in a timely manner.  It takes so much thought for me, which seems silly to say in light of my current postings.  My "tongue in cheek" blog page name is not necessarily true.  I mean, I guess you could say that what's posted  here are just "splashes" of my thoughts but I give too much planning (errr...) to these writings for them to be true "stream of consciousness".  Alas, I shall complete the month (if for only the three people that actually read them.)

In any case...  (Inhale.)

February 8th, 9th, 10th & 11th:

Over the past four days I've had a real "come to Jesus" meeting with myself.  Despite that lovely "I'm Wonder Woman, hear me roar" blog from several days ago (insert rolling eyes here), I truly must be honest and admit that I have once again (and I mean AGAIN *cue echo) let myself lose sight of my main goal which is to ENJOY my family and my activities and not spread myself so thin that I feel like burn out is pending.  I mean, I can multi-task and do it all the time (most mothers do anyway), but really... I need my head examined for all that I have put on my plate lately.  Now, some of it really is beyond my control in that I didn't know what kind of time pressure and whackadoo schedule I was gonna be under when I first took it on, but in retrospect, I could have (should have) thought it out better and not pushed myself into so much.  Since before Christmas, we have been running on super speed from one activity, show, event, etc.  Throw in our regular life with the 6 of us plus Lewie's surgery in January and and it's a circus side show for sure.  Although I feel like I'm doing an alright job keeping us all in check and making sure that we are connecting as a family everyday, I am not taking care of myself and I realize that a very bad attitude (cue scary music) is so close to the surface for me and it's because I am tired and stretched out more than that Armstrong dude from the 70's.  Grrr!

So...

What can I do about it?  Well, there is not too much I can do at this point to change our over-scheduled calendar.  I mean, I have commitments, contracts... and I will fulfill them.  However, I have thought a lot about trying to keep myself in check on thinking I (or even "we") need to be a part of everything that is available to us.  Of course we have interests, talents, skills, etc. that we want to use and nurture but, especially for me as the "lady of the manor", I've gotta find a good balance so that the things I need to take care of don't fall behind because the things I want to do keep me from them.  Sometimes saying 'no' is the biggest 'yes' I can give myself and my family.  I know, too, that often my decisions are based on my own validity issues (Oh geez, that's a whole 'nother blog in itself).   I've gotta face that. (Aww, pa-tooey!) Anyway, there are certainly changes that need to happen on this front, as much as I hate to admit it.  However... (bucking up)... it's good.  It's needed.  It's what will ultimately save me from an inevitable stumble.


There.... honest. blerbing. (Exhale.)

A Checklist For My Teenage Self

February 7th:

Dear Cher,
    Keep these things in mind.  They may do you good.

1.  You. Aren't. Enough... but Christ in you is.
2.  You are NOT "done" nor is this "the worst day ever".  Just don't even say it.
3.  All those people you think are soooo talented and gifted... they once took a chance.  You can, too.
4.  Be kind to the outcasts because one day, when you are adults, you'll run into them and they'll remember you as the only person in school that was ever nice to them and it will mean the world to you both.
5.  Eat and don't feel guilty about it.  Sheesh!
6.  Tell your family how much they mean to you and don't expect them to "just know it".
7.  Embrace your uniqueness and allow yourself to think and be different.  Practice your awesomeness.
8.  You aren't supposed to reach your pinnacle of success in high school so just breathe and carry on.  Stop worrying about perfection and just do your best.
9.  Enjoy being single.  It doesn't mean you are lacking something.  It just indicates you are meant for better than what's available at the moment.
10.  Don't wait until you are an adult to learn to be a good steward of your time, talents, money, etc.
11.  Stop hating your hair, your skin, your body, your life.  You were wonderfully made and loved deeply. You are beautiful!
12.  Knock the chip off your shoulder and relax.  Who wants to carry that weight? Count your blessings.
13.  Enjoy every experience.  Look for the good, the fun, the opportunities.  Each day you wake up means there must be something good you are supposed to do.  Look for it.
14.  Be consistently YOU with everyone and in every situation.
15.  Dream it, make plans, but be flexible if it doesn't happen.
16.  Work hard.  Don't give half of nothing.  Give all of everything.
17.  Appreciate more. Complain less.
18.  Don't wait to let God be in charge of it all.
19.  Don't let negativity breathe your air.  It'll suck your joy.
20.  Listen to the ones who've "been there, done that" and learn from them.

Lightning Comes Before Thunder

February 6th:
I started out the day tired, grumpy, and impatient.  I've gotten so  accustomed to Ross being here to make the coffee and help with breakfast for the Ginger Bros. (I know. Can you say spoiled?).  He's away for a couple of days and so TAG, I'm it.  I was in no mood for people this morning, especially little, demanding people.  I just wanted to stay in bed.  Alas...

Since my mood was blah and I actually had no where to be all day for the first time in weeks, I had every intention of climbing back into bed.  However, as I headed that way, I saw Lightning McQueen out of the corner of my eye.  Ka-chow! 

That's when my direction veered from my bedroom to the boys'.  There I found myself adding Lightening to the other toys as I put them away and straightened and organized their wardrobe and closet, (making mental notes of what clothes need to be ceremoniusly burned for having too many holes in or stains on them from the fun they've seen). Then, although I try to be a one laundry day a week gal, I threw in a load.  (Livin' cray-zay!).  I vacuumed the house which hadn't been done in two weeks  (That's a big deal 'cause I'm a twice a week sucker-upper.) and then in ten minutes I gave a redo to an old table in the boys' room and rehomed it in the living room.

I felt so productive and satisfied.  As I opened the front door to allow the warm sun to shine in through the storm door, I thought about how glad I was that I didn't take that nap and how good I felt and how  much I'd gotten done simply because I moved forward. 
I think, sometimes, that's all it takes... when you feel your worst, defeated, grumpy, like you're stuck, just take a step.  Move.  Pretty soon you realize that you've moved so much and so far that that bad mood, that problem is way behind you.
Yeah.

Fthybyuhdtkb%&#$$3"dguhstfdu!

February 5th:
How many days are in February, again?  Sheesh!  This blogging, er, "blerbing" is stretching me!  How do real daily bloggers do it?  My mind is swirling all the time trying to formulate reasonable, and hopefully interesting entries.  I fear my grasp of the English language and its grammar usage is inadequate to fully express my thoughts.  Sigh!
Therefore, today's writing shall be short because... because... because I am.  (Ha!  A little joke.  Get it... "little"?  Oh, the humor!) Thank you, thank you.  I'm here every night.  Tell your friends.  Try the veal. 
:)

Making Fat Cry

February 4th:

Monday.  Full week of schtuff.  Would be so easy to zone out on taking time to do something for me.

Not. Gonna. Do. It.

I'm gonna do the above instead. 

This is my G to the ORGEOUS cousin, Leslie, and my equally HOTTIE aunt, Joanne.  Les will do the high impact and Jo will do the low.  I may even do both.

16 minutes every day.  February 4th through May 24th.  I can make it happen.  Can you?

Follow them.  Sweat.   Do it because... 

"No one ever drowned in sweat." - Lou Holtz

and...

Sweat is fat crying. 
Let's make some fat cry today.

Actin' a Fool

February 3rd:

I'm shy.

Really!  I am.  I tend to keep to myself and wait for others to make the first move in conversation.  I've always said that in a room full of people, I'd go straight to a corner seat and just watch and wait for someone to speak to me.  I can't "work the room".  I always marvel at how some people can do that.  I mean, what do you say that makes folks want to talk back with you, laugh and be so delighted that you came over in the first place?  (Shaking my head)  I feel like as soon as I begin to make my way towards people they are looking for the nearest exit or they are thinking "Who is this woman and what does she want?"  (Maybe I should I offer them money?)  Anyhoo...

I don't know, maybe it stems from some place deep inside left over from childhood.  In elementary school I struggled to make friends.  I was often, mercilessly, teased for having the "triple whammy" of red hair, freckles and awful buck teeth.  I literally had the face only a mother could love.  (Thanks, Ma!)  Every stinkin' day of fourth grade I was picked on by a big girl named Florence (think Big Delores in Hope Floats).  She was huge, messy, and... scary.  I remember that once I was asked by the teacher to take something to the front office and on my way back to class I met up with Florence in the hallway.  She'd gotten permission to go to the restroom and was waiting for me outside the classroom just so she could call me " Ugly Beaver".  Another time, in music, the teacher chose me to play the triangle in front of the class.  Where I was told to stand was directly in front of Florence who stared me down and made punching motions into her hand.  My knees quaked the whole time.  I chuckle thinking about it now but I think instances like those and what I thought was personality quirkiness kept me from being outgoing.

In middle school, I found drama.  Not Kardashian "drama" but drama acting.  Drama class was offered as an elective course and Mr. Willie Jordan was my teacher.  Oh that man!  I adored him and that class.  He was so accepting and encouraging of everyone in the room and pushed us to be ourselves and "play".  He loved improvisation and would ask us to come up with topics to then act out in front of the class.  It was a riot!  Doing that pulled something out of me that I didn't really know I had.  I'd always loved pretending, dressing up, and performing for my parents but this was actual "acting"... real technique!  I loved it!  For that time on the stage, I didn't have to be that "ugly beaver girl" (who by middle school was developing and morphing into an awkward braces faced, young woman), I could be any character I wanted.  It was such a high to embody someone else for awhile during a time when I was so uncomfortable in my own skin.

I still love acting and I do it a lot these days.  I am blessed to have opportunities in community theatre as well as in the professional theatre.  Sometimes my parts are big, sometimes small but always enjoyable.  It is in those moments of acting, of being someone else, that I often get in touch with me... as odd as that may sound.  It's fun to be on the stage or in a public setting where I am performing so that I can come off as secure and extroverted  but in "real life", I can only be funny and gregarious with my family and close friends.  I know that there have been people that have misjudged me thinking I am a snob but the standoffishness  (Yep, that's a word...but, uh, don't look it up.) is not an aloof uncaring on my part.  I want to be at ease and put others at ease.  I want to get to know people and chat it up and I'm learning to "let loose".  I'm learning to accept myself and to realize that I'm not nearly as quirky as I think and that, really being me (and all the characters I play) is just who I should be.

Schtuff!

February 2nd:

Busy Saturday.  Blech!   We all woke up early around here.  Double blech!

Things to do, places to go... Lewie spent the day visiting with his grandparents (spoiled) while Ross, Charlie, Erica and I had to go to an extra long play rehearsal (groan) and Eric went to the season-ender basketball games at the high school (yawn) .  Then we all converged back at the house to cram in an impromptu visit from our insurance agent, dinner, baths, chores, and staying up late for family movie time watching "Groundhog Day" (because it's just not the same watching it on February 3rd.)

Multi-tasking.  It's what I do... and I like to think I'm not half bad at it.  Although, Eric says no one is really good at it.  In any case, good or bad, I do it.  I always have tons of things swishing (Yes, swishing) through my brain.  I'm trying to keep the family's calendar straight, the house in order, and all content (and somehow find ten minutes to shower).  On any given day, I am sitting on Ross's couch in his room listening to his latest musical endeavor then heading over to Erica's room to check in with her and have a little girl chit-chat about what's going on in her life, then walking into Charlie's "office" (his bedroom closet) and reading one of "Schmidtspeare's" masterpiece poems or stories (Hmmm... future blogger?), then snuggling up with Lewie while he plays on the floor or draws me a picture.  I usually have dinner cooking while I do all of that and sometimes even folding and putting away laundry, too.  In addition, right now, I'm in three productions at once and managing their rehearsals, memorization, and performances and wondering why Barnum & Bailey haven't called me to join them with all that juggling I'm doing. Even when I get on the computer, I have several tabs open at once as I check my email, give a status update on Facebook, listen to music, and research topics as they pop into my brain.  In fact, while typing this, I'm painting my fingernails.  (What talent!)

I like to maximize my time because if I don't, all of the things going on in my world start to feel chaotic and I lose my balance easily.  Not putting things off allows me to be in and do most all of the activites that I want/need to do without drowning in the Sea of Busy.  I always try to stay one step ahead.  For instance, I clean my house while packing for a vacation.  I scrub the kitchen while I cook.  I like order and I like "gittin' 'er done".  I love it when there is down time and no real agenda we have to follow and some days it is like that.  Mostly though, there is something to do, somewhere to go, something to memorize or rehearse and really... I guess I like that.  I choose that.  I find satisfaction in managing several things at once and then being able to sit back and relax knowing they're all done.  (It makes the relaxing part that much more.)  However, I'm learning (slowly) how to cut myself a break if I don't get something done and I'm getting a better handle on what things in my life need to be attended to immediately and what can wait, which is freeing.

Well, sleep can't wait any longer so I'll wrap it up here.  I'll go slip into my warm bed and check off my mental to do list that today's "schtuff" is done and add it to the blessings I count as I drift off to Dreamland.

G'night.

February 1st on the 2nd

February 1st:

The first day of the "month of me" came around with a gift of a whole day to myself.  I left the house at 7:50AM and didn't return until almost 9:30PM.  Although, I had errands to run and play rehearsal, it was somewhat blissful being uninterrupted in my schedule or lack thereof.  One of the best parts of the day was carving out a bit of time to hang out with my one and only sister, Jessi.   I took over our favorite grocery store sushi (Oooh, fancy!) and homemade cookie pie and we picnicked at her work.  It's always so nice to spend time with her.  She makes me laugh easier than anyone I know.  She is also the best sounding board I have in my life.  She listens intently and thoughtfully gives her feedback.  The person who can infuriate me more than anyone else is her and yet, she is the same person I want to share my deepest heartdreams with.  She knows me.  She loves me.  She remembers me... that me from childhood. 

 Through her eyes I can see those silly girls who used to put on variety shows for their parents, complete with costumes and makeup.  I see those dramatic girls that used to make up crazy commercials or soap opera story lines and record all the voices of those characters on their little, red tape recorder and laugh uproariously when playing them back.  Being "the big sister" wasn't always easy or fun for either one of us.  I often resented having to be the responsible babysitter and treated her unkindly but she never lost faith in me and I always loved her... although I still remember that time I was in 2nd grade and she drew all over my Miss Piggy puppet with a ballpoint pen while I was at school, but I digress.  (I promise I'm over it... sort of.)   I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. We share family... memories... life that no one else can share.  She is part of me...

28 Days of... Blerbing!

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possiblity into flames of achievement. - Golda Meir

 

February!  New year... new month... new me?  Maybe. 

As I do each year leading up to my birthday, I get a little retrospective, a little introspective trying to get perspective (See what I did there?) about... me.  I reflect on where the year has taken me, how I reacted to it and what, if anything, I could have done to make it different for the better or even the worse.  Some situations and circumstances I remember were unavoidable and my attitude towards them was understandable and acceptable but really, when I reflect on the whole... the person I am, I almost always find myself lacking.  It isn't that I go looking for the negative per se, but there is plenty in my life that could be tweaked, improved upon, toned up and sometimes I can get really bogged down with it.  I know I have a great life.  I have this amazing, little family that brings me such pride and joy.  I am blessed beyond anything I really deserve but sometimes I lose where I (that "me, myself and" character) fit into it.  I'm someone's daughter, sister, friend, wife, and mother but who am I?  What parts of me have stayed consistent throughout my childhood, adolescence, and adult years?  How has me being me helped piece together this puzzle called my life?  Given a moment of clarity, I recognize that I'm not exactly repulsive and it's alright for me to acknowledge my good qualities, my talents, my (Ahem!) shortcomings, my contributions and to give credit where credit is due, so to speak.  I don't often do that.  Not to myself, anyway.  So... (Here it comes.) with that in mind and the ol' calendar pointing the way to February 19th, the day that will forever live in "infancy", namely mine, (Heh, Heh!) I have decided to take the 28 days of this month to focus on the renewing, refreshing, and appreciation of yours truly.  Instead of making lists of things that I have to change about myself which I have done many, MANY times, I will embrace the good, bad, ugly (Shudder) that is CHER... me, not Sonny's. (The jokes... oh my sides!) 

February! New year... new month... new me? Maybe. Hopefully.

I shall document this time through this blog.  However, just saying that feels so forced.  I am not a blogger.  (Just see how inconsistently I have kept this space up. Ugh!) I feel stress just thinking about being a blogger.  Bloggers are writers.  Bloggers feel deeply for writing.  I don't.  I'm a much better... "blerber".  (Not to be confused with Bieber.)  So... to take the pressure off, it shall be documented here on this "blerb".  (I feel better already.)  It shall be documented because, well, it will help with that pesky "spective" thing I do each year and who knows, it may be interesting to someone out there in "Blog Blerb World" (Besides, my mother will love it.  Hi, Ma!)  Through this month (Thank God, it is the shortest one!) I will daily comment on something that is about me.  Vain?  Perhaps... but what I hope I gain from all of this is a truer understanding and appreciation of myself and in doing that, I will love deeper, listen better, and actually BE the person I am supposed to be.  I am sure I will still want to change things. That's not a bad thing.  However, in facing those I don't want to turn a blind eye to the attributes that make me uniquely me.  Me.  Hmmm...

February! New year... new month... new me? Maybe. Hopefully. YES!

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. - Phillippians 4:8