I Guess Babs Needed a Bath

"No!"

Lewie has only been up a few hours and he's heard me say that to him at least 50 times this morning. Over and over I have had to remove my small one from the center of havoc. He's thrown down his cup full of milk about half a dozen times (spill-proof, my foot!), yanked all the covers off of Charlie's bed, haphazardly removed all the articles of clothing from his, evidently not hard to open, drawers and played with antique knick knacks that, unfortunately, are on a shelf that is perfect height for chubby little fingers to get at. He's knocked over the kitchen trash can and eaten bits of dried oatmeal before I can turn around to grab the broom and the damp, white flecks of something all over my bedroom floor is not a strange indoor snowstorm but an indication that Lew has sampled Kleenex this morning, as well. While I took a necessary bathroom break (heaven forbid mother's have to go), he pulled every single, blasted cd off of the very full, blasted cd tower. (Can you tell I am writing this with clenched teeth?) When I arrived on the scene he had broken a DC Talk case, thrown ol' Blue Eyes across the room and was chewing on a Barbra Streisand cd. (Eric would tell me to wash his mouth out, immediately.) Again, I furrowed my brow, shook my head and said sternly, "No, Lewie!". He looked up at me with a kind of "what's the big deal, Mom" look and sort of giggled as he crawled on top of a pile of cds to get to his toybox. Cleaning up this latest mess, I couldn't help but chuckle when I realized what song was on the radio I had playing in my room. It was the 80's tune "I Think I'm in Trouble" by Lindsey Buckingham. Was it Lewie's theme or mine? Funny, very funny!

Over the more than 16 years I've been a "mommy"," mom", "mother", "hey you" to my kids they have certainly heard me say "no" to them. I mean, they have always gotten my utmost love and devotion, as well as, the material things they've needed (and even some they didn't need but just really, really, really wanted) but I have never been afraid to use the "n word". "No, do not throw food. ", "No, do not play with the toilet plunger.", "No, you cannot run away to Chicago." "No, you are not going to have a cell phone, Ipod, plasma screen tv, Wii, indoor pool in your room or an allowance of $50.00 a week." (They really never asked me for those things but just in case they read this, I want to clear the air now.)

I truly believe that children need to know where we draw the line. It is sad when I see parents be bullied by their kids. You can see that they live on the edge all the time. They are afraid to say no to their children either because of" the scene" it may cause or because they don't want their kids to "not be their friend". I figure my children have lots of friends but only one mother. They need my guidance not another "peep" to hang out with.

I think Eric and I have a terrific relationship with our kids and they do ultimately consider us their "friends"; not because we tried hard to be cool but I really think it is because we started setting the bounderies when they were little. From teaching them not to go near the street or put batteries in their mouths to not letting them go to a friend's house because their chores aren't done; "No" means "I love you and want to protect you and help build you into a responsible adult" (sounds sappy, doesn't it?) Sure, it would often be easier to let things slide, no effort, no arguments but my "no" means that I love them too much to let them grow into selfish, prideful, demanding, destructive, lazy people. No one, not even selfish, prideful, demanding, destructive, lazy people like those kind of people.

So...that is why Lewie, even at the tender age of 1, has heard "no" and will continue to hear "no". Now notice, I said he will continue to hear it, not heed it. It is interesting to observe the sinful nature in small children. It's almost comical when Lewie rares back and pitches a fit when I tell him no and remove him from whatever upheaval has occurred. Sometimes I just have to laugh but in the end, I'd rather have him upset with me and safe than delighting in wrongdoing.

Anyway, I've straightened up the trail he left behind and just put him down with his blanket bear and a kiss. He is napping peacefully and I am breathing in the sweet air of calm for the moment. Hmm...I better go to the bathroom while I've got the chance.